Disney, My kids, Film, Clarke Island, and my church.

16602751_10211450977605523_8106453631815029615_n17021643_10211606629056712_4300760651303197840_nChristie Clarke, what makes you happy? Youve been writing alot about the things that are hard lately and i think we should end the night this way:

  1. Disney World. Why: Its my escape. Its my runaway. Its my suck it PTSD im going to be magical and be happy and you’re not going to be here today. You know that feeling when you need to get in your car and just drive far away but you don’t have anywhere to go? I have Disney to run away too. And I will go as much as I can.
  2. Film. Why: IT’S AMAZING! Movies, musicals, they have always been a staple in in holding my life together. The acting. The camera angels, the stories, the way it can take you away without having to even move. Ill spend a whole day watching movies in New York just to feel like im there. Film is one of the greatest things in this world. Esp MUSICALS! Oh boy. Do I love to sing. I love musicals the most because when i belt them out around my house I feel like Im bigger than myself, and im in the movie, and im just happy. Just happy. You’ll never be around me and not see me break out into song.
    Let me tell you something Christie Clarke, you have the MOST BEAUTIFUL, HILARIOUS, PERFECT kids on this planet, they have so much of your personality.
    Caden- he is just. you. haha, He is an odd ball, but he is so compassionate and so loving and so funny. I am so proud of how the kid he is growing into.
    Caylee- Like have you seen a prettier little girl?! HOW did i get so lucky to get her as my daughter and im so serious about this I NEVER expected her to come out the way she is. She just as weird as Caden! Shes a total goof ball weirdo and shes gorgeous. I just. No, I wasn’t ready for them. Im still in recovery. Things mentally have gotten worse and worse by my constant everyday, are my babies. They smile at me every night and every morning. They smile at me everytime they see me down. They are the life i got a second chance for. I WILL be the best mother i can be, and protect them. From all the mistakes and pain. I want them to live happily.
  4. CLARKE ISLAND. Well, my family lol. My family tends to be isolated or end up together in a crowd of social people and we Clarke’s always end up together on accident, thus came the name. Skylain is included. I’m not sure if they read this. BUT. Being a Clarke actually means something in my life. I cannot tell you how much by parents, my siblings, have done for me. Ive drug them through the mud with my unfortunate events. Ive felt like a huge burden for so long. Some of it my fault, some of it not. But they have always been there doing whatever they can to help me and be there for me no matter what it is. Ill never be able to give them back what they’ve given me. A real family. A compassionate one. Ive seen directly how not having one of those families, impacts someone. Im so thankful.
  5. Lastly, The Argyle Church of Christ. Ive literally grown up here and I still am. I’ve left the church so many times. Ive had alot of feelings and thoughts. But im always brought back. I have noticed over the years that everything ive ever needed has been provided for me through this church. Since I was in high school. Anything. May it be mentors, furniture, support, financial help, life changing classes, the relationships ill have for the rest of my life. Anything ive ever needed, my church made happen. They love me. And for a long time I felt to embarrassed to come. I still feel that way. Like i’ve been a burden or all the bad things to happen to me. I dont like how i look. But they have always been so accepting of me, and my family. I dont know where id be without the help of my church. Its been awhile since ive called it My church, but it is, and i’m so excited to see what the future hold though it.

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